So I watched the movie Revolutionary Road (with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio) last night.
And it scared the crap out of me.
Talk about "domestic bliss" gone wrong. Leo and Kate brilliantly played the roles of a 1950's husband and wife, stuck in suburbian hell. Both had become unhappy in their marriage, and Kate was especially unhappy with life - stuck at home with no purpose, feeling trapped and alone. The movie ends so sadly, and depicts a story that I think not many people think of when they reminisce about the "nuclear family."
What scared me was the fear that we're headed down that path. Although I definitely have more options, and less social stigma to choose my options, I still fear feeling trapped in domesticity. I feel pulled both ways - yes, I want a family and to marry Caleb someday, but no, I don't want to be just like everyone else that does the same thing. I am fortunate to have work that I enjoy, and my own identity outside my relationship, but I fear losing that, and my sense of feeling young and free, when kids and "grown-up life" come along.
I want to have a family, but I want to be different - I want my kids to be bilingual (I need to brush up on my espanol), I want to travel to different countries (and continents) with them, I want to have my own adventures separate from my family, I want to have free nights with girlfriends, I want to run the Vagina Monologues in Mason City/Clear Lake, I want my kids to grow up as feminists (and understand that the true meaning of this does not have a negative connotation), I want to do so many things that seem to fall through the cracks with many mothers.
This seems to be kind of a scared outlook on my future, but I think this also means that I am not ready for kids yet - I'm still clinging to my kidless freedom, and at 23, that's totally ok. I think this also plays into how it weirds me out how many people are married and having kids around me lately.
I think I just need to realize that my time will come, and I'll wait until I'm ready until I start down that new path in my life.
I agree, Motion City, "the future freaks me out."
2 comments:
I also watched that movie and felt sad for 2-3 days. I hated Leonardo's character so much but it is really easy to just get stuck. But I agree... wait until you are like 26 or 27 for the kids. Be young. :)
We all thought we could be everything and do everything...but guess what? We got into our marriages, and it is our society, the expectations of a spouse, our families, no money...that makes us be just like all the ones that we don't want to be like. so...good luck...but I doubt that it will happen for you, because it didn't happen for many of us that went before you.
Post a Comment