Now some anxiety is starting to set in. Right now it's focused around baby showers, which I am excited for, but I also have this fear that we will only receive a bunch of frilly, girly clothes, and not the things we actually NEED, aka, the things I registered for.
This also feeds into the fear that we just won't be ready for Baby in general. As in, I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. One part is the fear of not having the gear we "need" for Baby (the anxiety about the gifts), and the other part is the fact that I have no idea how to care for an infant. So I did go ahead and sign up for an extra class next week, on Newborn Care. I know we'll still feel anxious and unprepared no matter how much prep we do, but I think this will help, even if it's only reassuring to me that I'm even trying to do more to prepare.
We've also been trying to get some stuff done around the house that we've been meaning to do for years, like staining the deck and staining the windows and trim in the house. Unfortunately I can't help with staining due to the chemical fumes, so I can't help even if I wanted to. And as a control freak who wants to get things done RIGHTNOW if I decide to get them done, it's hard. Caleb has been awesome about doing the work, but this week it has been unbearably hot so I totally understand not wanting to do it when it feels like death outside.
But I do have some good, fun things to be excited for. I'm excited for the showers and seeing my family and friends, and of course to bring home all the fun stuff we'll receive! The dresser my mother-in-law has painted for the nursery will also be coming home this weekend, so I can fill it with the baby clothes we have and get some things really wrapped up with the nursery.
Next week we have our next visit with our doula, where she will teach us comfort and breathing techniques for labor. We also have a midwife appointment and the Newborn Care class. I don't have plans for the weekend after, so hopefully I can do some shopping and finishing up of the nursery and other things.
This Sunday I will hit 34 weeks.... so only 6 weeks left. Yikes. I had kind of marked that off in my head of when we really need to "get serious" about things, so..... yeah. It's here. In addition to nursery prep and shopping and such, I also hope to be diligent about prepping myself physically and mentally for labor and birth. Shawna, our doula, will help us with some things I can do physically to prepare, such as if we need to do more Spinning Babies stuff (we haven't been good about it), or other things to help my body prepare. I also need to do my Push Prep to get my muscles ready for pushing.
For mental prep, I want to finish the book I'm reading now, Birth Partner, and also read two other books I have: Breastfeeding Made Simple and The Happiest Baby on the Block. I also want to start practicing some relaxation techniques and try to reduce my stress as the big day approaches. After my miscarriage and when I was talking to my counselor, she suggested I use some guided imagery to help me relax and reduce my stress and anxiety. She lent me some CDs to try out, and I really liked the work by Belleruth Naparstek. When I became pregnant again, I bought some meditations specifically focused on pregnancy, and they helped calm me down when I was so anxious early on. I'd listen to them right before bed and they'd help me sleep when before, my brain would just race and I couldn't calm down and relax. I want to start listening to the pregnancy tracks again (one is for pregnancy and one is actually geared towards labor and birth), to help me be in the right mindset.
So, lots of plans, lots of prep, lots of lists happening........ but we are getting there! I'll leave you with a picture from this week and a video of the crazy lady who lives in my belly.
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| Now a lot of the maternity clothes that fit me earlier in pregnancy don't fit anymore. So that's been fun. |
In the video above, Baby C has the hiccups. I think she doesn't like them (who does), because she wiggles and flails around when they get strong. You can see her moving around and pushing out on my belly, but you can't see the hiccups very well in the video - if you can see where it almost kind of looks like my belly is doing a little stutter, that's it. The rest is her flailing after each one. This definitely isn't the most active or visibly crazy she's been... I'll try to get a better video of her acrobatics soon!
I do like to feel her move, as it is reassuring that she's doing ok in there, but sometimes I'd like it if she settled down! In a meeting at work today, if anyone was staring at my belly, they probably would have thought that she was going to alien herself out through my belly button. She can also sometimes wake me up if she's moving too much when I'm sleeping. I guess I should get used to her waking me up though.... (Also, yes, this is the same shirt I was wearing in the other video of my belly. Shirts that are long enough to cover my belly are in short supply, so you very well might see it again!)
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