20 Miles Strong

Today I ran 20 miles. Twenty. Miles. I still can hardly believe it. I am so, so proud of myself for pushing myself so hard.

My planned long run this week was supposed to be 18 miles. But last night and this morning, I kept thinking about how good my 16 miles last week felt, and wondered if I could push out 20 this morning, two more than my training schedule calls for. I decided to play it by ear, see how my body was feeling, and go from there. From the beginning, I was feeling really good and strong, with a fast, steady pace, so I decided to go for it. I split my run into mileage sections of six, five, five, four. I stopped very briefly between each section for GU and water. The last four were DEFINITELY the hardest - towards the end I was plodding along at about a minute slower pace than I had kept up for the rest of my run. But I did it - I knew I had it in me, and I pulled that last bit of strength out of me at the very end. Counting my break times, I ended up with an average pace of 9:26 - better than I'm expecting for the marathon! (But I'm keeping expectations low...)

Towards the end of the run, when sheer exhaustion was setting in, I started getting emotional. Throughout the run I had been thinking about all the people in my life who helped me get to this point, and who I would have to thank when I finished my marathon. Then at the end, I really needed some visualization to keep me putting one foot in front of the other, so I started to visualize the finish line, what it would feel like to cross it after 26.2 miles, and seeing my friends and family cheering me on. I started to get really emotional, and then my throat started to tighten and I could barely breathe! I quickly had to change gears and think about something else, because I still definitely needed to breathe through the end of my run - I seriously thought I was going to hyperventilate for a moment! Which makes me pretty certain that I will cry at the end of my marathon. If I come that close to losing it at the end of 20 miles, I'm pretty sure all bets are off after 26.2. So for those of you who plan to be there at the finish line.... bring tissues!

I am so thankful for my experience with running so far. Above all else, I think that running has given me mental fortitude and confidence. I've found something where I'm able to push myself to the limit and feel great about my accomplishments, without having to compare myself or compete with others. The mental strength I have developed through running amazes me sometimes - it took a lot of motivational self-talk to get me through my last four miles today. But I was so determined, even when I wavered, I focused on my goal and kept plodding along. I think that I am starting to apply that to other aspects of my life, along with  my running mantra - I can do anything, it's just a matter of how much will it hurt. I've pushed my body to do things that five years ago, I literally thought were impossible. If I can apply that determination to other areas of my life, I'll be set.

Ok, so enough hoaky talk - let's just say I'm feeling better and better about the marathon and my running, although I am also feeling ready to be done training!