Read this article first:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/yashar-hedayat/a-message-to-women-from-a_1_b_958859.html?ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false#sb=1145546,b=facebook
I read this article yesterday, and it immediately struck a chord deep inside of me. I sat and thought about it all afternoon, and realized that I was angry. Angry that this has happened to me throughout my life, angry that it happens in my relationships with others, and angry that I contribute to it and perpetuate it in my life.
As I was driving home, I was literally sobbing, saying over and over in my head, "You're NOT crazy. You're not crazy." I think that sometimes it's a hard realization for women who are sensitive, share their feelings, and have felt shut down because of it.
I also realized that I don't entirely blame the people in my life that may do this to me, because I also do it to myself. I truly believe that, like many ways that women are treated, it is socialized and taught to us from day one. Men learn to treat women that way, and women learn to treat themselves and other women that way.
I love the quote the author provides at the end, by Gloria Steinem, "The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn."
Even as a self-proclaimed feminist and advocate for women's rights, I still have plenty to unlearn, especially about myself. And this learning, it can be painful.
2 comments:
It is a good piece - one that many men, even good guys like our guys will never quite understand. Because they've never had to put up with what we have.
We can't forget that everyone - not just women puts up with their share of stuff in life. At times life seems easier for the "pretty" people and the tall people...and so on. But it can catch up with them.
I cringe everytime I hear women apologize for themselves when none is necessary. Chicks should not feel that way!
Let's do what we can to encourage confident women - go girls!
I remember in grade school, people (adults and my classmates) would say that I was "too sensitive"...I would always think to myself "no, you're being mean and saying hurtful things to me". Then quietly resigning to the idea that there was something wrong with me in the way I handled things. Thank you for sharing this article.
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